God gave sex as a good gift, but He intended for us to experience its pleasure within marriage. Genesis 1:1 uses Hebrew terms “zachar and nekebah” (male and female sexuality respectively) to refer to this phenomenon.
Christians are called to honor God with their bodies, which means forgoing premarital sexual contact before marriage has taken place.
Table of Contents
1. He loves you
God desires for us to remain pure, yet this can be difficult and sometimes we make poor choices when it comes to sexual purity. That’s why He sent Jesus Christ as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (including unchaste sex before marriage), including unchaste sex before marriage. If sexual purity is something you struggle with, don’t hesitate to seek His forgiveness through reconciliation and then strive to live life more chastely in the future.
God wants only for you to be happy, which is why he warns that having sexual encounters prior to marriage can cause severe problems in future marriages, including adultery. So if you are considering engaging in illicit sexual acts prior to marriage, remember that He loves you and wants nothing but your happiness!
If you are dating a Christian, it is essential that you honor their covenant by abstaining until marriage. Doing this will prevent adultery while upholding God’s covenant between you.
Sexual purity should not simply be seen as something religious; it should also be seen as a lifestyle choice. Christian love emphasizes self-control and respect, so when choosing to remain chaste it shows both your love for another individual as well as respect for their dignity.
The Bible makes it clear that sexuality should only ever be reserved for marriage, from Joseph’s encounter with Asenath in Genesis 37 through Song of Songs’ romantic verse, God created sexuality for marriage. Additionally, one of the Ten Commandments states “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 14:21) while both Jesus and Paul warn against fornication within their gospels.
As Jesus and Paul used the Greek term porneia when discussing promiscuity in the New Testament, any references to “sexual immorality” should be taken to mean premarital sex as well as cohabitation. Hebrews 13:4 states it’s illegal for unmarried couples to engage in oral sex outside marriage – so if having oral sex before marriage is something you are considering doing – take note!
2. He knows your heart
The Bible teaches us that we cannot hide anything from God. He knows everything that goes on inside your head and heart; He sees through any attempts at secrecy you make; he also understands your motivations behind them all. According to Jeremiah 17:9 “the human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand its ways?”
This means if you choose to have sexual encounters before marriage, even for love’s sake, they are sinful. Even though we might want to convince ourselves otherwise, Jesus made it abundantly clear that even engaging in sexual relations for good reasons constitutes sinful conduct.
As He also stressed, motives matter more than actions themselves and if your heart is not pure enough then none of your actions count for anything at all. Therefore it isn’t enough just to apologize – instead you must repent and change.
Abstaining from sexual relations prior to marriage may be hard to accept for some. Chastity may not come naturally to everyone, but remembering Jesus wants you to uphold chastity will reward you!
Many Christians may argue that engaging in sexual relations before marriage is not prohibited by scripture; however, this is an inadequate argument as there are numerous biblical prohibitions against sexual acts and pornography which do not appear specifically in Leviticus 18. Furthermore, Christians should avoid engaging in sex before marriage because the Bible clearly prohibits it.
Remembering the culture that produced both Old Testament and New Testament scriptures can also provide guidance about appropriate behaviors when it comes to sexual relationships outside of marriage. Jesus spoke frequently against Pharisees who presented as religious but had dark hearts, calling out their fake displays of religiosity for what they really were: an attempt at concealing evil intentions behind phony religiosity displays. Following scripture rather than your own desires is of vital importance!
3. He wants you to grow
God wants you to grow in your relationships. That’s why He created marriage and all its aspects–including sexual intimacy–as an illustration of His loving relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33) (Ephesians 5:21-33) To thrive, however, growth requires nourishment: that means being open to direction from spiritual mentors, family members, friends and romantic partners alike who provide instruction or correction from time to time.
However, sexual enticements are an inherent temptation in modern culture and should never become part of our routines. If you engage in sexual encounters before marriage it is a grave offense against God because it contradicts His will for your life as well as cultural norms (Genesis 1:28 and Deuteronomy 22:21).
One might be tempted to think that since Jesus forgives sins, having sexual activity prior to marriage doesn’t matter as long as Jesus forgives it; however, this thinking is flawed and illogical; forgiveness doesn’t cancel out debts to holiness – rather, it alleviates guilt and shame. Only closeness with Christ provides true satisfaction and fulfillment – everything else is just “chasing after the wind,” as Solomon pointed out in Ecclesiastes.
Some believe that because Jesus forgave the prostitute and adulterer, this implies he approved of their extramarital affairs. But this logic doesn’t hold up – had extramarital relations not been considered sinful by Him, then He wouldn’t have forgiven them either!
So does God allow sexual sin before marriage? Yes, but only if you repent and ask Him for mercy. Continuing sexual sin could obstruct your eternal destination and prevent Him from accepting you into heaven. Therefore it’s essential to pray, read Scriptures and seek Him as He can provide a roadmap and protect from bad decisions or habits – He truly cares about our wellbeing, yet only knows one way that will last – He wants only true happiness that lasts through Him!
4. He wants you to be happy
God wants us to be happy – He tells us so in Scripture time after time. But when we’re unhappy in our marriages, it can be tempting to turn to sex or other sources for fulfillment, rather than trust in what’s best for both of us – something which God forbids! If this is how your marriage feels right now, take heart – God wants only what’s best for both of you.
The Bible makes it abundantly clear that sexual relations should only take place within marriage. Engaging in sexual activities prior to getting married is both sinful and damaging to your future marriage; attempting to conceal prior sexual transgressions could even create future family tensions; any attempt at covering up immorality within relationships will only lead to additional pain and heartache for both parties involved.
Many couples dating or considering marriage become involved in premarital sex before getting married, often as an attempt to seek forgiveness for sinful actions in other areas of their life. While God is forgiving, those engaging in such behavior should expect their partner(s) to ask for it too. Before engaging in premarital sex before marriage it is wise to remember that your future partner(s) might also ask for your forgiveness as part of any forgiveness agreement between yourselves.
As part of your marriage vow, it is essential that you be honest about past infidelities and accept responsibility for them, asking forgiveness from both partners involved, assuring them of faithfulness to one another in future interactions, as well as praying together over possible outcomes of any choices you have made. Couples should discuss and pray about what the impact might be of these decisions together.
Remind yourself that God created sexuality as something beautiful and sacred, but only within marriage. Adultery or any other forms of sexual sins should never take place under any circumstance. If you need help maintaining sexual purity, contact a mentor, priest or consider praying the novena to St Joseph who is known as patron saint of chastity – becoming more chaste can be immensely fulfilling!