A narcissist is constantly on the search for earthly praise. They don’t possess an identity strong enough for them, so are constantly in need of external validation from others.
They lie and manipulate to get what they want, believing that the ends justify the means. They view exposing another person’s sinful actions like Paul did with Diotrephes in Acts 8 as not loving; rather, they take all the credit for good things while assign blame when there are problems in the form of allies being blamed.
Table of Contents
- 1. They are always right
- 2. They are always happy
- 3. They are always putting you down
- 4. They are always trying to impress you
- 5. They are always trying to control you
- 6. They are always trying to control others
- 7. They are always trying to control your finances
- 8. They are always trying to control your emotions
- 9. They are always trying to control your thoughts
- 10. They are always trying to control your actions
1. They are always right
When someone insists they are right all the time, it could be indicative of narcissism. Narcissists cannot understand there may be different views about life; everything must revolve around them alone. Furthermore, they tend to not ask how others are doing or about what might be going on in their lives.
Instead, they demand special favours or extreme compliance from those around them and when these demands aren’t met they become angry and aggressive, often resorting to throwing things or engaging in physical violence as part of their anger response.
Narcissists struggle to adapt to reality because it does not fit their grandiose fantasies of infinite success, power, brilliance, attractiveness and ideal love. When someone attempts to shatter that bubble they often become defensive and accuse anyone who disagrees of being insane or lying.
2. They are always happy
If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist, it is crucial that first and foremost acknowledge there is a problem and seek treatment – such as prayer for spiritual healing or Christian counselling.
Narcissists tend to struggle accepting failure because it threatens their image of themselves and dislike criticism because it can diminish their egos.
Narcissists crave attention, often seeking authoritative roles such as preacher or guru to feel the full force of control they crave in their field. Narcissists may develop a “messiah complex”, where they believe themselves to be saving humanity with their actions or beliefs. Unfortunately, their thin skinned nature makes rejection or criticism particularly hard to take – this often causes them to explode with anger quickly.
3. They are always putting you down
Narcissists need external affirmation and approval in order to feel good about themselves; those newer to spiritual journeys or those who don’t do more may be targets of such behaviour. If someone constantly undermines you it could be an indication of their narcissism.
Earthly praise and authoritative roles such as being a guru or messiah satisfy their need to feel in control while building their ego.
Ones who believe God favors them may expect everything to fall into place for them. Unfortunately, they can also be manipulative and ruthless when it comes to getting what they want. Eventually though, He will put them in their place by taking away control from them – this punishment from Him for how they have treated other people, according to Matthew 23:23 of the Bible. So keep an eye out for this type of person.
4. They are always trying to impress you
Narcissists often develop fantasies of endless success, power, brilliance, beauty and ideal love. They tend to think they are the best in their field and frequently exaggerate or falsify information regarding their achievements, talents or abilities.
An individual with low self-esteem often uses others as tools to feed his ego. He does not feel any regret for taking advantage of others and craves admiration and attention from them, while having short tempers and easily becoming jealous.
When dealing with a narcissist, don’t expect them to listen or consider your point of view or emotions. They may attack or shut down completely if you attempt to express them – this process is known as railing. They use character assassination, rumor-mongering and misinformation campaigns in their quest for recognition; this form of behavior is known as covert narcissism.
5. They are always trying to control you
Narcissists seek power over those around them, including loved ones. To achieve their goal, they may lie and manipulate to gain the upper hand; ultimately though, the truth will surface and this individual will be brought down a peg or two.
Anger and frustration often accompany feelings of lack. To gain what they desire, they will use tactics such as gaslighting, lies, blame-shifting, intimidation and gaslighting to manipulate you into giving what they desire.
They won’t tolerate any resistance to their authority and will do everything possible to make you feel weak and afraid; some even go so far as threatening physical violence if they don’t get what they want. Therefore, it is vitally important that you remain strong when confronting such people; otherwise they’ll only succeed in breaking you down and taking advantage of you. It is vitally important that you remain true to who you are in order to combat their attacks – otherwise they won’t succeed and become successful at controlling you!
6. They are always trying to control others
People who are narcissistic often surround themselves with others that feed their inflated egos, yet are exposed when someone else mentions one of their achievements – an event which dismantles their false sense of self-worth, leading them to panic and retreat backwards in time.
As such, they’ll do anything they can to remain at the center of attention: make unfavorable comments behind your back, go through your emails or texts messages or monitor social media activity without permission or otherwise make themselves known as such.
Spiritual Narcissists can be especially harmful as they use their Christian faith to promote themselves while discrediting those around them. With no regard for other’s opinions, these individuals will continue their attacks until you finally stop listening – something which does not represent Christ and is certainly sinful behavior.
7. They are always trying to control your finances
Codependents who depend on narcissists spend most of their time and energy trying to convince them to change, often including prayer. Unfortunately, this approach rarely yields results as narcissists often don’t wish for change because doing so would diminish their identity as an authoritarian figure.
Create boundaries for yourself and adhere to them, rather than letting a narcissist control or cause you harm. If you find yourself struggling with this toxic personality trait, seek help from a Christian counsellor or mental health professional – they’ll have all of the tools needed to overcome it and restore your self-esteem – Love Kimberly Perlin M.A LMSW CSP Townson MD
8. They are always trying to control your emotions
Narcissists tend to fear losing control, and will do everything in their power to maintain it. This may include physically or emotionally harming you to maintain their power over you – this is known as “narcissistic abuse”, and often can be stopped by setting clear boundaries or restricting contact between themselves and their target.
If they feel threatened, they will use character assassination, rumors and other methods of deceit to portray themselves in a positive light to their followers or the general public. When attacked themselves or you personally they will use tactics such as name calling and propaganda against you until they feel they have injured enough without admitting wrongdoing or feeling regret.
They do not want you to embrace who you truly are – that will lead them to lose control over you. Therefore, setting boundaries that work for you and adhering to them will be your best defense against being exploited again.
9. They are always trying to control your thoughts
Narcissists seek power, often by invading others’ personal conversations or relationships. While they might appear helpful at first, these narcissists are really just trying to build up their spiritual ego by subverting others’ conversations or intruding upon others’ private discussions.
Narcissists fear losing power and will do everything they can to maintain it, including trying to control you through attacking your thoughts and emotions. One effective way of counteracting this from happening is setting clear boundaries that you won’t tolerate their behaviour and sticking to them; once they sense this power of your boundaries they’ll eventually respect them out of fear or else their rage will only escalate further as their attempt at regaining control rages on. You must be ready for this.
10. They are always trying to control your actions
A narcissist loves manipulating you so they can feel superior and experience a “power high.” They may attempt to change your actions by convincing you they are right and accusing you of wrongdoing; or try making you believe they are correct and tell you off for doing things differently than they would.
Narcissists seldom consider the feelings and needs of others and rarely make healthy long-term commitments that benefit people beyond themselves. When feeling threatened, narcissists may act out aggressively in an attempt to restore their sense of power and superiority.
Narcissists often take various forms depending on their personality type; from being openly vindictive in public, to using subversive tactics in the background such as character assassination and lies and rumors; even attacking family and friends is part of their way to protect themselves and retain control.